Witness(06-11-12)

1.Reflection.
Nov.6th
The new beginning of the week had a poor start.Did nothing accorded with the preparation of interview.With the saying at midnight that I would insist the routine for a long time,droke it in the morning.Hua Wei's spokesman was a little bit stiff,who made me disappionted.Went along to the manager and asked her details.It appears that we were not welcomed because that was the employment press held for the students majored in foreign languages.
Jacob and I rushed to another hall where held CITS's press to occupy the seats in first line.The manager of CITS picked up some pieces from swarms of the resumes,and she was fortunate enough to choose most idiots in our major.Angela and I were omitted by the brilliant manager either.Unfortunately, my condition at that time is superb,hence I decided to strive for my dignity.The assistant was frightened by my eloquence.I'm sure she didn't know why she admitted me at last but only remembered my continual words.Most of my friends had been admitted directly,though we heard that we needed to be written-tested later on.Fainted...
Had supper with a crowd of friends,even though sb didn't have time to tell the words to me because of the meal.It seemed that I lost a chance again.Who knows whether there will be any chance again.We seized two tables and a path,which we had never been so magnificent after PR Tong was dismissed one year ago.
Surfing internet in dorm,discovered the courses system of University of Sydney was totally adapted,with lack of elaboration.Apart from that,the major were also hugely altered.Industrial Ralations was cancelled and added up several weird courses concerning sociality and statistic analysis..I was conscious immediatelly that it must be a critical problem.It will decided my future according to the interview afternoon.There was no time to grumble,with massive work to do,such as mailing the staffs in US,Considering the industries I should exert into,taking account of my interest as well as working experience.The colossal experience seemed to be a restraint for me to head to another industry.The problem is subject to obsess me till I make the decision.
Nov.7th
Owing to the change known the day before,I couldn't motivate myself to complete the schedule.If not,I must have made the effort vainly.Untill Judy asked me to learn with her,I got up.Covered "the Frontal PR" for all the afternoon,with a numb appearance.
Judy came at 4:40.We seperated at 5:30 since she dated Mike for dinner.Going back to dorm,discovered the poem album,published my poem,called "Sebtember Poems" arrived.The book was quite thin and so as my poem,short enough to be neglected.That should be my shame but not pride.All the people read the poem said it is talant whereas couldn't understand it anymore.According to such cases,I had to be speechless and go away with my poem.Some of them said that should be a awesome start,while I would define it as the final point.
I got the reply from HU LU XIAN,the administrator of the poem forum.I retired and will never be the administrator again.The feeling was indescriable,although the resigntion was handed in by me.Counting from the poem last time,I have never written any word for my belief over 1 month.
Composed a piece of poem again for Licky,falling in deep grief till dawn.
Nov.8th
As soon as I woke up,heard that we are obliged to participate the election of territorial representative of government.We faddled that we always have our obligation and principle to executive our right.We will take privilege to the reprentative who we are known;if none,we will give an opportunity to the the one belongs to our department;if none again,we had to vote for the one owning a sound name.Furthermore,we have another critical principle that vote for female who has agreeable appearance.The voting has been held as this process and principle for couple of years.
The exhibition orgnizer employed internships lasting 14 days.I intended to earn some cash to end up the life always withdrawing from ATM.But I changed my mind before I got to the meeting since I heard Licky would attend it.Jacob said he was desparate to earn money or he would end.I didn't go there at last,as Jacob's prediction ,either did she.He said he repelled her again.The name Licky became sensitive again from then on.
Rachel told me that she was scared by the communication theroy since it concerns politics and sociology rather than economics.I propose a "Shaking Meeting"for her,Judy as well as me,in Chinese as "Dong Yao Hui",instead of "Mobilising Meeting",as "Dong Yuan Hui" in Chinese.It was quite ironical that we three were the most insistent to our respective future.We had no conclusion and thoroughly annoyed by the dilemma.
Nancy didn't come to attend the "Shaking Meeting",reverse as her former behaviour.Rachel told me she was angry with me.I managed to appease her by my idiomatic method and defrauded her of a meal.Don't crack credit,haaaaaaa.
I discovered I was arranged to paticipate the written-test by CITS,as I contacted the staff there positively,when I checked mailbox,while I received the refusal from Microsoft.My major must be a great burden to be passed though after all.But after my master degree,the present working experience will be another barrier again,even though that's my proof of priority nowadays.That was one of the demonstrations of the dilemma,I am sure.
Sb drew my arm.That should be recognized as a sign:That was a habit,just ahabit,the habit got on my nerves.
I was blocked up by sth as well as sb,even only known by myself and too pimping to share.Simply,I was sorrowful.
Nov.9th
Fu Yang told me Zhang Dong and she would come to BISU on next Monday.She reminded me to grasp the chance.Faint again...
Without lunch,went to 405,3# again,which has been ocuppied for all the afternoon.Reading books,including an introduction of English poem totally written in English.
Sb drew my arm again.That should be recognized as a sign:I have been beyond redemption.
I must be insane.
Forgot one more thing,Piero's birthday.Happy birthday,Alex.
Nov.10th
Sister Mu gave me some advices on my major choosing.She analysed the trend and the requirement of different industries as well as functions,but I omitted most of she said.Nonsense,nonsense again.
Qin Yu also suggested me to learn finance.I would make the critical decision in near future.
Fixed a time with mum to go shopping in Cui Wei shopping mall.Bought a luxury dress and a coat,costing me 1200 RMB,when bearing no annoyance any more of rambling in mall.
In the bus 335 back home,came across Xiao Qing and Fang Fei.they told me their place were both close to mine,even though we were all in PR department.Xiao Qing told me that the PR department present was likely to decline.They all were envious of PR tong,looking forwards to the relationships.She told me that she didn't learn anything in PR department,execpt as a labor,which made me down.I must have make a serious mistake at that time.
Got home.Dad didn't say any words to me.I learned to encounter trouble calmly.Fortunately,The Ice was broken by me.I discussed the majors to be chosen with him,and he get down to the affair again.I realized that we hadn't had estrangement yet.
Nov.11th
Went to Tian Yi shopping mall to pick up a bag,since the former one had to be tidied.Bargained with the storeload,the first time I presented my eloquence in front of mum.
Took some tonic to visit sick Angela.The Insane girl didn't tell anyone that she had finished her operation on Friday morning.I was astonished and contacted friends to visit her recently.I got there at 4o'clock,I've never seen her appearence like this,pale,weak.I chatted with her for an hour.That's my partner,my partner for over 3 years.I sympathized with my partner's sickness,since I deeply comprehended the meaning of lonliness and helplessness.That's why I rushed to Chao Yang Hospital from the remote place.I managed the visit next day,attended by most members of PR tong,surely I would be there as well.
after that,went to my aunt's place,in the North of 4th Ring Road,distant with the hospital.All the day beared the trudge.feast with her family and mine,back home to search info on internet.
reading the meaningless books,fell asleep at midnight.
All the Single's Day was company with various people,hinding the sole and sore appearence in my heart,seems enjoyed it in pleasure.
Nov.12th
Taking the suit back to campus,after the visit of Angela.Most of friends were called to be there,and our noisiness disturbed others harshly,even though they didn't say any words to us.We took pictures,faddled till merely 5 o'clock.I didn't know whether I would be concerned by so many people if I were suffered by disease.
Had supper with Nancy,Tian Yi and Xiao Fang.We gossiped all the affairs on campus and person concerning us,no matter whether they were true or not.We were the people who took memory as importance,and would keep all forever,which was the most vital point focused by me.
Judy mentioned me a lot in her blog.I couldn't describe my feeling anymore,'cause I haven't figure out her intention yet.
Li Yang gave me a call at night to inform me my salary was deducted by the fucking woman Yang Jie for over 1000RMB.I was exasperated against her and composed three mails to different people to save my lost money.I was embarrassed by the ill-disposed woman!I will not surrender any more!Even though,I could not do anything at all.
Fulfilled the mails and slept at 3:30,forgetting the coming of Fu Yang and Zhang Dong in the morning.
2.The severe issues suffered me a lot.I couldn't get asleep in the dark owing to the back pay,couldn't feel free because of major choosing.The days was continuous with my desparate desire of safety and success.
3.Started to write poems again,even though someone depreciated my lines in the forum.I didn't maind it any more,not because I was generous,but I was limited by the annoying things and had no time to debate with them.At least,I would not give up argue when sb invaded into my macca.
4.Planned to learn driving in several days.
5.The plan was executived well during the week,exept of the days at home.English should be highlighted by more endeavor.
6.Finance seems to be my future career,oriented by crowd of people.
7.philosophy,can you save me from the lonliness,helplessness,and desparation.Or,you can do me a favor to make me addicted in to the deeper abyss.