Witness(06-12-29)

Reflection
23th Dec.-29th Dec.
I'd like to change the format of the Witness in this term in stead of the date pattern,for the bald task and the chaos occured in my brain domained my life this very week.I had thought scores of things,however,most of which are needed awareness only by myself.I would sum up some of them and have no willing to elaborate anyone in detail.And to stimulate the reading rate,I'd like to introduce a new principle:I would keep some sensitive contents of Witness only in English,and the Chinese version would be simplified by the main news every week.In addition,I was under serious consideration of establishment of a English blog in American website,which will be more effective by English-speaking readers.International strategy?in some extent.I wish blog will be model of the Eterprise operation.
First of all,I should exhibit the dedication for driving license.The plan was implemented soothly and the rate of progress was fairly high----I have covered half of the course requirement.The coaches were chosen by me and most of them gave comments that my driving was bold even dangerous,which should be attributed to,I think,the unpleasure in recent days.After the business of final essay,I will continue my courses and fight for the license before 20Jan.
Secondly,someone was cared desperately,even though I would not act for extra steps any more.The messages were the best reward for my concern,which I admit that the one didn't realize at all. I didn't know in what extent I was addicted into the very person,but I am sure where was the base line.
Back to campus again for the final essay and the course essay.I lost my last class in university life.
Was contemplating several days at home.In deep fickleness and depression.Discovered some demerits which I omited or have never conscious of,which was fatal to my success and I couldn't correct them in short term.What's worse,I even don't know how to optimize myself at these angles.For instant,I was in low spirit with my career and future.How could I stimulate myself as before?
The X'mas festival was an common day for all of my friends,as bored as mine.I sent the birthday blessing to Liang Yanlan,who secretly loved me for over 5 years,and the feedback satisfied me for quite a while.The birthday blessing was the only strenth of my words.
Carried out copy of the short message again.the sources were quite concentrating,which perfectly described my privilege of concern.That's my Achilis's heel.Therefore,the notbook should be the highest confidential file,even more than my poetry anthology.
Discovered a significant event which had been neglected for merely one month:I had covered my 300 poems after the poem "Standing",which also means the poetry anthology "Zi Shi Ku Shang" had ended up with its 3 years old.It recorded the life,sentiment and thought during the 3 years,recorded most of people who were ever playing vital roles in my life,recorded my best friends' concern to me,recorded the secrets melted in the pieces of poems.The postscript was arranged in schedule,which might be completed in recent days.The blog's name would not be changed since brand had been planted in the active visitors' hearts,I am pleasing to operate the blog as a brand,like the avenue of PR department.The new poetry anthology is actively sought,so is the new name.I would post the determination here as soon as I make decision.
Get down to management my assessment.Begin with stock-type fund.

Vincent

Witness(06-12-22)

Reflection
16th Dec.
Watched some chapters of "Apprentice",a programme prevailing for several years in America,made me full of energy.Still,I couldn't help to keep my slow pace.
Read books as well and didn't mind the interview next day any more.CMBC plays no role in my heart.I'll meet Ge after the interview.
17th Dec.
The interview of CMBC was one of the most annoyments I've ever taken part in.I got there at 10:30,and the candidates which should arrive at 9:00 were still waiting for the interviewers.At noon,the first group of candidates started to get into the meeting room.I was distributed in the last group.I hate the company lack of efficiency.I stood up and talked to the staff that I had to go back to campus since my supervisor was about to discuss the final essay,and I elaborated the experience and knowledge in 3 sentences,then went off the building to meet Ge,who have been there waiting for me for over 2 hours.It's the firstime I appreciate my action so perfectly.
Ge said he hunted some companies and the momentum was not too bad.Went back to Alma Mater,and idled along the Chang'an Avenue,till Tian'an Men Square.Before then,I just told him I would come to Xi dan to take an interview and we didn't prepare anything,either phisically such as the songs we were acquainted,or spiritually such as the mourning of pastime.The hasty meet was ended in Tian'an Men Square,a strange place for us two.
18th Dec.
CMBC really called me again and told me that I had passed the first interview,which I didn't participate in,and they asked me if I had time to take another interview.I am not interested in this position any more,and the way they dealed with the candidates enangered me.I decided to give up the opportunity,even though I could got enough respect as well as jealous from crowd,while Zhong Jing Cheng was this guy one year ago.
PR tong's birthday.Rachel,Nancy and Pan Xiao lin were absent,which made me indignant,even though I didn't tell anyone.Especially Rachel,didn't tell me in advance,so as she didn't at last.Nancy was suffered by stomache,and told me her absence 5 minutes before we would depart from campus.I also had business,which the driving school asked me to reserve cars on the right day.I left it apart.That must be the sign of the extense of the awareness to PR tong as well as particular ones.I was depressed.
Nevertheless,we enjoyed the time in KTV,and sang "sister" for Judy first time.We took massive pictures and made weird poses.I will call for it from Angela,and then I shall send them to you all.At midnight,Ye Zi sent a message to me said that the regathering was roughly limited after one regathering.And she said I was the centre of the PR tong,which might be seperate after our departure.I asked myself if PR tong just a dream for me and all that I am concern was dummy.I had no interest to chase the answer.
Slept at 12 o'clock.I was too tierd to be faced these poeple.
19th Dec.
Waked at 7:30,but didn't get up.Didn't response anyone's call.Didn't reply anyone's message.
Went to the classroom,taking the poem album again.
Angela told her direct leader that she would be absent for 2 months.
Jacob would go for work tomorrow,even though he was not content for he didn't prove himself,he thought.
Jack received the interview letter from LV,I didn't.
I still get up at noon and read the books had no use in my life.
20th Dec.
Dinner with Nancy and Rachel.
incline to be insane.
21th Dec.
Master Cheng intended to kill me,he said.He couldn't bear any more pressure from his sickness and the postgraduate exam.He wanted to transfer his rage to others,who was obliged be condemned in his mind,ie.Jack,and me.He said he had asked for the price of knife,and was in consideration the approach killing me.He was conscious that he was insane,but he imposed to release anything by this unreasonable way.I tried to consoled him that he was desparate since he was suffered by the harsh disease but not anyone else,as well as himself.He disentangled after my explanation.I am conscious that his disengagement will expire someday,and I held the domitory meeting at 10.I intended to save Jack's life since he will be along in the coming 2 weeks.Master Cheng still accused Jack embarrassedly,and I had to deal with the fierce situation time to time.Even though the atmosphere was rough and weird,the result was much better than before.
Lunch with Ye Zi,and chatted on PR tong again.Met the freshmen of PR department,aware that have passed 3 years.My life left vogue trace providing me to memory.
Idled across the campus again company with Jacob.poured the fucking affairs in my heart,and told him that I would be industrious for parents and friends,after that I will executive my promise.The life didn't change after my death.
Tracy also baffled by a harsh problem.Looking at Jacob's anxiety,I 've no idea since we had to wait for the final result which had been known by everyone.
22th Dec.
Left after lunch.Sent messages to everyone who was concern by me,and asked them to take care themselves after my leaving.Was company with Tong Shan accidentally in the subway.
Reserved the cars after Getting home.And then,enjoyed the life in my room.I love my home,sincerely.
Yang Jie remitted 3000 yuan to me finally I hastened her three months.I would retaliate her in recent days.

Witness(06-12-15)

Reflection
8th Dec.
Sought 22 people,who are also my best friends,sending messages to Ge,as the first gift for him to celebrate his birthday.He gave me a phone to thank for my devote.Then I told him the second gift was the article posted in my blog.He said that he was overwhelmed by my faith and couldn't help to weeping.He promised me that he would review all the memories and keep it fresh,since he has listened the song"Youth",which I mentioned in my article,for several times.Still there was another bad news for us that he had to prepare CET4 by himself instead of my takig place of.I insisted to meet again after the New Year,to assure him sufficient time for the damn English exam.
One more thing:Xue refused my request for she didn't consider we are friends and we didn't have any concern with each other.If it was not Ge's birthday,I would have been depressed by her.God bless me.
Rachel gave me a telephone and said they all missed me because of my 2 week's departure.The gift I made for Ge has another intention that I could get touch with the friends I had neglected for over 10 days.Campus,I will be back in two days.
9th Dec.
Nothing special.Gave Richard a call and discussed the regathering of PR tong.Zhi Yi didn't find out the proper skating rink,thus we had to go for KTV again.Started to read some pages of Investment Bank Theory.Was it a sign of perking up?
10th Dec.
Arrived at campus at pm 2:00.Jacob took the job of baggageman again.The dormitory was totally filled by the laugh of Richard and Jack.They were together time to time recently and it's said they had the trend of gay~~~~.Even though It was weird they companied with each other,the more hasty thing has been discovered,ie. Cheng Shu Yi's tough eyes.I went to the canteen with Jacob,Rachel and Nancy to discuss the affairs of research project,which was the main project in this year.Making everything arranged,I put my emphasis on the books again,since the atmosphere on campus was quite suitable for endeavor.I had to say I was dynamic as soon as I put my first step into the campus.Made the plan recently,and started to memorize vocabulary in the Banking field.Of course,Internet opened again to me,which exausted me till the sunrise had been coming,while I told Rachel that I intend to go for Chen Gang's course,which was the first time I would be at.I sent the mail to the staff of USYD for my one more exemption of Microeconomics.Foreigners,who were as bureaucratic as us,pushed the duties from one department to another.I hated the Australians,although I haven't been one member with them.
Xiao Fang always sent messages to me at 4 or 5 am,when only we two were awake.It seemed that she was also annoyed by some trouble.Why destiny was
so sorrow?
11th Dec.
Up at noon as usual.Read the Interpretation on the Core Business Terminology to carry out my plan.Went for dinner with the PR tong,which had been revived since I was back.Angela seems needn't to help me for my annoyment since I had gotten off from the hook.Read books with Rachel in the Chinese Building and analysed her data of postgraduate of Peking University,which was quite numerous and I had to dig in the major to seek for the relationship between them.I could remember everything in the chart,which seemed the degree was my goal Eventually.Gave her advice untill 1 am and she needed more consideration but not the infos.
The fog was quite dense that I didn't see the sight 5 metres away. I couldn't see anything regarding my future any more,which was the only thing jumped out from my mind in the fog.The campus hasn't been as charming as this time,nevertheless I didn't take the camera with me.How many times can I waste to record thought as wellas memory occoured here.
12th Dec.
Strong wind expelled the fog from the very night.Got into the condition of learning today.We four PRed Liu Da ke after his class for our project.The result was that We four was criticized for over one hour since Rachel's comments in Beijing Dialogue Forum irritated the chief leaders and hurted his dignity,neglecting the goal of application of cash support.
Master Cheng scolded Richard when he came to my dormitary to prepare the NCRE.I 've never seen him like this,with a horrible appearence and fearful voice,which astonished Richard and me.That was the first time of his picking a quarrel with Richard and Jack.I started to concern the safety of them two.
Had dinner and learnt at the 3# building 405 again with Richard till 10 o'clock.
Discussed the financial affairs with Li Kai for long time,then discovered the knowledge was not acceptable very well and the approach of the thinking in this field was quite different with mine.I sought for the reason why I had to dedicate in the major,and figured out that the only one was father's saying and I am obliged to bear the colossal pressure,I had to maintain my step and towards the success far away from me,even though I was exausted by the fucking major.
Xiao Meng forum highlighted my poem,which was not my favorite,onto the top again,since it met the funny prefrence of the administrater.I was disappointed that my mecca was reined by the authority,who controled all the forum by the public opinion.
Intended to get asleep a little bit earlier,and went to bed at 2:00,but fell into insomnia untill 6:00.
When I was waked by the fucking Master Cheng's deed,I discovered Xiao Fang was in insomnia as well.
Liang Shuang gave me a call in the afternoon,who I haven't gotten touch with for over 4 years since the misunderstanding occured.I swore that I would have no more relationship with my ex-best-friend,but Vincent Xue Gave me an opportunity to break my pledge.Thanks for my friends.I hoped he could forgive me the affair 4 years ago.I apologized sincerely to him.
13th Dec.
Was interrupted before 10 o'clock by Master Cheng,and researched the possibility of his metamorphic psychology analysis with Jack,and came to the conclusion that he owned a absolute inclination of Mr.Ma which was a threat for our life.The inhabitants near ours were also frightened by his weird behaviour.providing he got a failiure of the postgraduate exam to Peking University,we predicted he would kill someone in my dormitory.
Promised Zhi Yi,who fixed over 6times to go for dinner with me but never put it into prctice,to have dinner with him finally.talked over the affair of reunion of PR tong.Then Rachel told me to have dinner----that's why 5 times failiure----and I asked her to go to classroom for learning after dinner.But no one could guess that how it would be meaningful for me.
Rachel said she decided to give up postgraduate degree,since she was fighting by her disadvantage against others' merit,and she got down into preparation of hunting job.It reflected my point of view which was buried by myself:I am also shaked by my diffidence.The financial knowledge for me is a barrier and so does the methodology.I reminded my original goal,which has been confirmed since I was a freshman,was to be a planner and team leader of one project,and I betrayed myself unconsciously.Rachel said she disentangled after she said she made the decision.She had prepared to devote into what attacted her no matter how tough it would be.That's the things which disturbed me recently,although I once merely managed to forget it.EVA said:you can't escape.I decided to make my future in focus.I will hold the Marketing again and grab the knowledge of computer in advance,if I can I will pick up Business Infomation System.My position will be a marketing stretagic planner or analyzer of market in IT field,which perishing absorbes me.I will cover most of the knowledge of the IT skill and marketing to ensure my bright future.Hope no change anymore.
Wang Ao Ya has passed the 3rd round interview in Simence and there would be a particular car arranged for her to the company.Bai Yun,Xu Xian Gang and Tian Li have received the offer from 4 biggest accounting companies in the world,which badly astonished me.So that's because of either the blindness of the companies,or the blindness of us,who had been with them for merely 4 years and be more familiar with them.If I wasn't lazy at that time,would I grab the opportunity?
There are almost no one remember the day's meaning.I dated with Elazer the day two years before,which was also the day I split chums with Licky.Alone for too long time and leave alone the happiness several years ago,exept for the woe idling in the night.Therefore,I wrote the words above desperately.
Borrowed books with my son,and went to the little restaurant to recall the memory there.The "next time" will be the vacant check for us since we even don't know whether we have future.
14th Dec.
Waked up by Judy after I slept just only 3 hours since she was in deep sorrow.I didn't know what's up,and rushed out hastly.She quarrelled with Gary, the foreign teather of oral English,since he is unreasonable even ridiculous.The fucking old man said he would fail her and she griefed owing to the injustice towards her and couldn't help to crying.I spent the whole forenoon advising her some strange metrod untill she recovered from depression.
had hair cut after lunch,and snoozed sitting the chair.when I was waked up,discovered the hair style took the function of entertaining public.I was insane but had no use.asleep in rage till 5 o'clock.
Gathering with PR tong again.Xiao Fang said she would negotiate with Wang Bo last time.She has never left in advance before.Jacob saw her and Wang Bo walking in the path and called her but no reaction.I was afraid that she has dumped with Wang bo and sent a message to her.Her cellphone was turned off.At 3:00 am she sent the message to me and asked me:Even though destiny was annoying,we had to obay it,did,t we?The only word I could say was:we will let you alone,and all of us look forward your perking up.
Told everyone Master Cheng's history,his evil intention as well as the dangerous inclination,which frightened the little girls besides me.And PR tong's reunion has been arranged on next monday,KTV again.
Rachel was adviced by her boyfriend and mother to dedicate into postgraduate again and she was extremely shaked.I anaylized the intention of Teacher Cheng and Bei Fang,and told her I spported her way from the very beginnig.She seemed to release the pressure for my analysis and was back to calm again.
Nancy went for interview of CTS of Hongkong.She was confused by the choice and called for help from Rachel and me.We were back of internship while others seemed not.But I believed she would follow our suggestion,since our point of view was from herself.
Rachel said everyone would remind me at the very begining they was frustrated.I don't know whether that's a pressure for me,but I would keep my role in the only half of year left for us.
In deep woe again at night.No way to prove myself and my confidence merely flew away.
reminded the pictures of PR tong's birthday last year,which was the most fantastic party in my heart.Every picture demonstrated some smiles from every face.I wish everyone that whould be together next monday could review it again,You would find the former yourself one year before,as well as your comrade.
15th Dec.
With Richard for the whole evening in the classroom.played the songs and music,taking care of our own business.Tranquil and sevene,the extravagant life I even couldn't wish.
The bank gave me a phone when I was out of the bathroom and told me to go for interview on Sunday.A brilliant campany,although I don't care any more.
Agreed with other's saying that finding a piece of job could enjoy my life,and as aresult,I kept a slack hand.Now I changed my view.If justinding a so-so job,that's the betrayal to the dedication in last 16-year hardworking.Providing we could give a prosperity lasting 20 years to myself by 3 or 5 years,it's worthwhile to endeavor.Tough was decided by your attitude but not the character of you are playing.Our dedication was not the assurance to keep ourstatus of slave.The only thing we should cultivate should be the distribution of time,and the recognition of position.

Witness(06-12-8)

1.Reflection
2nd-3rd Dec.
This season is always too sorrow to keep life.The leaves have almost expired,so did I.My confidence has been peeled off.
Nothing special happened.Watched DVD,the cartoon "Conan" and "EVA",instead of any kinds of books.Went to bed at AM7:00 on time everyday,and up at pm 2:00,round and round.
Angela said she would go for internship in CITS.
Jacob took penned-interview in Xin Hua agency.If I could have cought the chance to deliever resume,would I be picked out?
Jack said he sold himself to a MICE company and will intern till the end of this semester,then they will negotiate for sallary.
How about me?I am just watching cartoon despondingly,while others are fighting for their destiny.However,what should I do.
4th Dec.
Started to play Winning Eleven,and slaughtered Real Madrid for 8 goals.That's a coincidence that I will play WE4 when I am disapointed and misoriented.So long as being in such low spirit,I am custommed to trumb the articles for pastime.
I believe that should be another time I am disapointed and misoriented,and I recognize that it is not the coincidence.
Decided to ponder the reason of silience.
Interview.Nestle's failure was a numerous shock for me.I was swamped by the inferiority even though I exerted myself to keep active after that.The narrow view made me lose the fragile confidence established by 3 years.Then comes to the interview of CITS where I was insulted at.Different from Nestle,I was not defeated by the interview itself but the prejudice.Nevertheless,I can't admit myself to live in the nasty surrounding.Angela said she has been depressed since the interview of Singapore Travel Bureau.She changed her mind that she got down to the companies giving her confidence and honour,but not the giant in their field.She said I need the honour and respect from others rarely obtained from the giant companies,according her understanding of me.I admitted that I was shaked by her says.
Overseas education.The world outside must be better than here?No friends,no relatives,pale life,pale future.taking one more piece of certificate is the only advantage.I have to be back,owing to the harsh policy.What a pathetic choice.The analysis for future,which I made a year ago and always been crew over to friends,said overseas education will be the last choice in the three,while I forgot the result when I made the decision.
Major.Do I have any right to make decision as all the roads are merely blind lane.Computer,Finance,English,Mathematics.4 majors but not 4 subjects,and every major is comprised by several courses.I intend to expire myself when I am in library.
People.Don't speak up anymore due to many people's concern,and the feeling was boosted by fury as well.However,there is no denying that is the key point of disappointment.The judgement in the heart will carry out if there is no sense of importance of myself.
Pastime.Two weeks ago's Reading former articles means another call-to-accout.Ge,Licky,Xue,PR tong,Angela,Jacob,high school,dorm.Merely stayed in the stuffiness when I turned over the articles which has never been trumbed for over a year.The interview with Licky in CITS has been proved that must be my doom.I can't recognized the I a few years ago.The I might look down upon me present.
I hate to be biased.I hate frustration.So I hate myself.
5th Dec.
Started to take "invstment banking" again,even though the pages I covered was quite limited.
Judy persuaded me to perk up again.I had to say,I am trying.
6th Dec.
Accomplished the 100 items for only 8 minutes in the highway code exam and got a full mark.But the anxiety before the exam hinted that I lost most of confidence.
Reading some pages signs the perk up?I don't know.
Send E-mail to the person who takes charge of the affair of US's enrolement,and requested him to exempt one more course,which can save merely 3000 Aus.$,equal to 18000RMB,even though it seems impposible.
Zhi Yi advised we could go for roller in Yue Tan to celebrate their birthdays as well as PR tong's.Did support since that's their first time to speak out their point of view.What's more,it is quite close to 35 elementary shool.
Richard faddled that "the world has not belonged to you" when I gave him a call.I realized that I located in an awkard position with solemnness.
Wrote the new article for Ge's birthday.Haven't written the proselike this for long time.
7th Dec.
Trimmed the article for Ge several times,since I was even not confident to my brilliance of writting.
Decided to be back on Sunday,if no emergency.
Enforced myself to translate all the reflection into English,to paractice the familarity of the active words.That's should be the beginning.
Father was back yesterday,and mother will go on errands today.She can't be back before my departure.
Was addicted by Beethoven's Missa solemnis Op.123,the only one that can take the place of Requiem, K 626 composed by mozart Wolfgang Amadeus.
8th Dec.
No more thing can be more significant than Ge's birthday.this day's refletion will record no more things except for this.
Happy birthday,my best friend.
2.Jacob send the message ended by "MVA".I asked him what it is with vain thought.I started insane after I knew the meaning of the 3 letters.It was created by Licky,and fullly filled in my cellphone 2 years ago.Deserted by doom is not horrible,but will be horrible enough if by pastime.
3.I am searching the one who hited my 5000th view,please told me if you are,or I will check your IP.
4.two weeks.The adjustment is not successful at all.Idleness needs any excuse?
5.Judy send back the message written by myself when I persuaded her.Humanbeing always keep reason when sermonrizing others.
6.Ge's birthday.That may be the last time to celebrate birthday for him.I will depart in the mid of July.Massive things will become the last time,even concluding some meet with someone in the last half of year.
7.I will be back.Have you ever missed me.

Witness(06-11-24)

1.reflection
Nov.20th
Became sicker.In bad condition for 3 days and no sign of recovery.Completed the fantastic book talking about the tale of Wall Street,then borrowed new books with a terrible shock by Finance.The requirement of maths is quite harsh,also for I viewed the English version.Nevertheless,the knowledge in the very field was a barrier to me.
I decided to exert into maths and computer simautaneously,since Li Kai told me I should have a superb command in the two subjects.Also,the basic knowledge of finance and English should not be neglected.The task seems a little bit oppressive for me to fulfill since I am obliged to prepare TEM8 and driving license at the same time.
Judy was addicted to "Prison Break" and stayed up late watching it till 5 o'clock,while I was watching EVA till 6:20.It appears that we are both insane by the ineffable pressure.
Lifted a call from the HR of NESTLE,to congraduate me passing the exam and prepare to go for interview next day.The anxiety didn't delight me any more.Started to try on the suit taken from home,and was scared after I dressed on the trousers:that was so fat that I can put one and a half fists.I had to borrow a suit from other dorms.However,my shape was too outstanding to dress on,the most skinny person's suit didn't fit me since I seemed like a peasant entering metropolitan first time.Finally,I conceded Auster's,albeit the trousers was too short to hide the socks.It was 24:00 after this process,and I must seek infos of NESTLE and its interview,till 3 o'clock.Made an incredible decision:Get up at 7:30 next morning,which means I only gained 4-hour-sleeping time and didn't account for the hours of floundering.
Nov.21st
Turely up at 7:30。Everyone seemed send their best wishes to me,even though they were originally looking foward to my lossbecause of jealousy.
Got down to preparation according to process of interview searched from Internet.The second step was highlighted as presentation.I copied down every topics demonstrated on net and prepared one by one.Discovered that several topics were repetitive in different versions,which gratified me that It means the possibility of Betting on the topic successfully was quite large.With the chuckle,I prepared 12 pieces of presentation in English,as the time I prepared IELT.
Printed and duplicated the certificates,took a shower,had lunch,dressed up the suit.Eating battercake in suit must be laughed at,so I made it right at dorm.Started off.Arrived at NESTLE(China) after 1 and a half hours.The classical style-building was full of emotional appeal.Everyone around there was well-dressed and foreigners there abounded even in the remote place.
40 minutes Ahead of schedule,Discovered that 4 candidates out of 10 had been there.Called them as "comrade",while recognized them as rivals,since NESTLE's interview consisted of 10 people,while the champion would be only one among them.Exept for my lower degree univrsity,others were all from high degree such as QsyingHua,Peking,DI,BIT and so on.Chosen by NESTLE,they must be the elites in their campus respectively.I had to compete with those people-------from then on,I was in dread unconsciously.
The interview started,group work and totally in English,while there would not be any rest time,even going restroom.
The first step was introduction for partner.My partner was a girl from BIT with the poorest oral English,while mine was moderate.Didn't nervous at all,and passed the first barrier with fluent sentences.
The second step must belong to me for my large-scale exertion on the presentation.Unfounately,the HR told us mildly:“We will come to next step:debate.”I was fainted at once,since I had no experience of debate and didn't know anything about the preparation of debate,while 7 people among the 9 was the member of their campus's debate team.The topic was “The decision should be made caculated rather than inspired.” and I was for the opinion.I intended to grasp the authority of our team at very beginning,while the girl was too agressive and I had to yield and keep gentlenss.She arranged everyone's order and keywords,but no one obeyed the regulation further in the debate.My performance was quite poor with lack of logic and confidence with my English expression.And in the free debate I also did a terrible job,since everyone was hyperactive to invade the counterparts and always 5 people standed up simultaneously as soon as possible and I couldn't react the very topic and it had been changed immediately.Summed up,I had 4 chances to present my point of view,and the total time limited is 20 minutes.During the conclusion,HR said:“You are not the first group,but the best one among all the groups till now.”I started to be aware that I came across a crowd of talants.Before than,the most active person was Angela;the people who commanded English best was Jack;and the people who was most organized-thinking was myself.But these 9 people,seemed to be leg to leg in every field with the 3 people at least.I started to concentrate on the procedure but not the outcome of the interview longer.
The third step was a game called "Sudoku",developed by a sweden,required superb logic thinking and competence.I considered whether I should practice this one week ago and didn't carry it out at last,regretting a lot when I saw the paper.Fotunately,I was well-trained in my logic-thinking and I believe I was brilliant enough,I figure out 80%,and if there would be 1 minute left,I would have figure all out.I discovered that some of them were rough by the game,I believed my performance was not bad.But the girl seating opposite me,who was from Peking Uni and had fulfilled all the game,astonished me badly.I discovered that the God is unfair,since the 5 girls were all quite pretty and top-qualified,taking a perfect command of English,even could they take the priority in the logic game,tell me why...
The fourth step was group discuss again.The topic was a story that a pilot's airplane crashed and he fell down into a forest.14 goods provided to be chosen taking with him required ranking according to priority.Gentlemen and ladies discussed respectively.I controled the leadership at this time and confirmed our principle as well as the value judgment.Our agreement process was quite fluent since we compromised each other well with rare ramification,and time was abundant to decide which one could be the reprsentative.I made the biggest mistake during all the interview at this time:I didn't scramble for the position ascribed to my diffidentness even though no one was interested with this position,or all of us were shy to "steal" this fat task.The boy from QsyingHua obtained the job at eventually.It was said that the champion would be chosen from the two representatives of two teams.14 options were not significant at all,except for the compromise,leadership as well as positive attitude.There was no denying that I lost the positive trend by myself.
To calculate all the procedures,there was no step my performance can be appreciated,even some steps makde me embarrasedand lacated in the marginal position.Albeit the 3rd step was so-so,but it didn't convincing enough since I was no the champion either.All the candidates rushed to the icecream and candy for free before we walked out of the building,I was in deep slience standing at the corner.
Scores of people mentioned the result.I didn't cover up my loss,sincerely said I didn't win honour for BISU.Surely I believed everyone known by me couldn't win in this firece environment,also started to suspect whether Henry Zhong's glory of passing the interview was true or not.
I had to say that English interview was unfair to me since my literary talent could not be demonstrated at all and the speed of thinking in English was another demerit for me which enforced me to be busy defending.There were no step which I could take advantages of,such as creativity,literary ability,knowledgable view,etc.However,the experience also gave me an impressive lesson rather than any interviews before.It's the first time to see so many top talents among the people of the same age,enforcing me to be moderate among them;Experienced the global company's skillful and matural HR management and process,Severe but also humanitive;compared with David Liu's little company,insisted the faith that I will be the employee of a multi-national company but not the individual workshop;communication in English with high strenth emphsized the significance of being in the English-speaking environment;the intense sence of frustration cautions me not only I have a distant road to endeavor for,but also the approaches I should carry out.These will play a vital role during the preparation before overseas study and influence the way of abroad strive.
I believe I will be the top one so long as I enhance the oral English as well as speed of thinking in English.
Nov.22nd
Didn't perk up from the frustration the day before.Rachel asked me to give suggestion of her new opportunity.I was a little bit absent-mindedness,even though my eloquence and stable evidences had no flaw by a fraction.I was dampened in clouds,while I made it far to seek.
Went for the rcruitment of Reuters Technology ltd.All the presentation was in English too and the accent was terrible enough that I even considered the spokesman learnt English from a peasant.
planed to borrow books next day.Stirred myself up.
Nov.23rd
I was striken by the books on finance once again.The major was too abstruse to dedicate into.Took a view of "International Finance"version for postgraduate,didn't understand the formula at all.I was subject to consider my future more carefully.
Paid for the exam fee of TEM8.I will be exausted in the following months.
Forgotten one thing:today is Thanksgiven Festival.Bless everyone who read my witness,as well as myself.Amen.
Nov.24th
Had lunch with Jacob and Tracy,then went home directly.
Called Angela after right arriving.She seemed recovering well and would go back for campus next Tuesday.Told her the procedure of interview.She admonished me that I was the person who need admiration,if not,according to her understanding of me,I will turn my back upon him too.Therefore,we'd rather sought a company which can provide honour to us.She said that I was in dread since the unknown world waiting made me lose my head,but after I accustom the life in Sydney I can lead it more fluently.Typical Angelaism,But it wasn't nonsense.Hesitation arrested my decition's birth for a long time.
Pleased to hear of he news of Angela's revival.We took thought about her illness,then she has been crazy again.She's back.The chats between us always reminded me the memories with PR tong,as well as the departure as closer as time goes on.Owing to the day before's reminding by articals,I unfolded the files of pictures.Sighed once again.
2.Attention!The date I post my witnesses has been changed on every Friday.
3.A series of exams I am looking forward must be a impassible bear for me.Driving license,TEM8,Computer band 2,and I have to strive for Finance,Mathmatics and English,as well as Essay.Maybe I will meet death before I go aboad.
4.Didn't take any books on philosophy at all this time I was back home.
5.Reviewed the verbose articles again.On Ge,on Licky,on PR tong,on Angela,on Rachel,on myself.Was concsious suddenly that I had left numerous memories which I perishing cherished.The I at that time believed I would not neglect anything no matter when I would be dead.Nevertheless,when I read the articles concerning Licky,I discovered that I had left the story 2 years ago from my history.All the memories will wither away if I didn't write it down.For future,I gave up literture,philosophy as well as almost hobbies,even including the memories.Addictted myself to the trivals in life and deemed highly that I had turned to be aware of life itself,which was more meaningful rather than my useless hobbies.on the basis of Weitgenstein's theory.I dropped my history into the bustbin stylishly,and I scorned myself seriously.Even if glory of dignity was gained,that was only a lonesome crown.No one could rub up the mirror reflecting my pastime.I looked down upon me blinded by gain.
6.Happily at home,laughed loudly,or wept silently alone.Photos.Haven't visit this corner for couples of months.Unfolded the ppt of welcoming the freshmen.I was gratified that the ppt comprised by our glory as well as the sentimental life bridged us.My last dream when I am dying is to view laa of my pictures and proses once again.Surely that's like an excuse more than a dream,since it costs several days to cover all of them,and I would not intend to depart after I covered them.
However,I am obliged to depart for Sydney.Could you Give me something more before my departure?An indelibility one more time at least?
7.Will learn driving next monday.Whoever owe me meal,especially Nancy,since long before,Be quick!!!

Witness（06-11-19）

1.Reflection.
Nov.13th
Writing the former witness till 4 o'clock,waked up with the eyes in obvious tumefaction,owing to Fu Yang and Zhang Dong's coming at 8:00.The students for class in Broadcasting Institute abounded in the morning,seeming that they were more industrious than us.Zhang Dong registered for several minutes and headed over to the DVD stores around the two campus.Fu Yang began to favor to artistic movies,hence her intention was to buy the Favorite disk but not to visit me.That was the first time to meet Zhang Dong,and my younger sisters were passionate with her coming,the rumor that I would meet my girlfriend-to-be was prevailing several days ago.I was scared since they all have served in PR for at least 1 year,quite aquainted with how to disseminate espacially rumors.I invited the two girls having lunch at 10 o'clock,in order to save time for Fu Yang 's preparation of afternoon's exam.Coming across Jacob when we were about to leave,Fu Yang didn't recognize him though she met him once,and the reason she told me was that he was older in some extension than last time.I told them that should be attributed to his date with Tracy~~~~~~~Slept after their leaving till time to supper.To budget the cost,decided to stay at dorm,trimmed the vocabulary base in a new notebook,and copy all the short messages on the other notebook.It appears that I am addicted into recording everything happen to me in daily life,with over 10 notebooks as proof.I admired myself of being patient enough to have passion on the copy affairs,left apart the affair on back pay and the deducted money.I indulged myself into the memory with the words of messages till merely 190 pieces was in the notebook at 4 o'clock.The sunrise's step was close.
Nov.14th
With the day before's lesson,I made a significant decision that I would keep my sleep till noon in this week.I prosecuted my plan and regretted after I was awake.Time is always limited so long as you intend to keep pace.To keep my pace,I had to go for "Business Week" with a big yawn.I deemed that I was keeping my pace well,indeed.After supper,I went to Mcdonald's to read books as well as memory.The book I dedicated in,called "The Emergence of Wall Street as a World Power",was fantastic enough to make me immerse into and forgot the days last winter.The dorm was just like a reposing room.The admirable bastard Cheng Shuyi was lying in his coffin-like bed,with a stolen pillow from Zhang Fan.That's why I felt disgusted as long as I walked into the room,but not the only one.The next day would tell you the story about the fucking dorm as well as the ruffians living in.Debate with Hu Lu in Xiao Meng.He depreciated my poems for several times and I had to account for the poems every time.What a amusing deed.Wrote many to defend my poem and dignity with a equable tone,even though I was in serious indignity.He must have consider that he was quite reasonable and logic,neglected his topic was poem.Thought is a deed to oriente one but not systemize himself.
Nov.15th
Keepig my pace,up till noon.Had lunch with Jack and it was the first time to discuss about the nearest storm in our dorm.He conceded and didn't give anyone elaboration.The rumor winded around all the college,even towards other deparment.He said he shrug off the dorm especially the peasant,with no resentment.I loathed the peasant too.He always imagined him a peasant leader,with the brilliance of guiding a revolution.He defeated ZhangFan and He Peng,who were both citizens,and I could guess next one must come to me,even though I was repelled by them all when I was a freshman.Jack said he can be conscious with their hostile attitude towards me,since they might consider that I backed up him always.I thought that's true and I would rather hedge them away from me to gain a agreeable surrounding.That's no denying that Their way was perverse and I plighted I would edge the atmosphere if they insisted their aggresive attitude.Had dinner with my brother and sisters of PR tong,busted by Jack owing to his annoying says.Read books alone till the night was asleep deeply.Fogotten one thing,we managed to PR Liu Da ke of confirming 3 seats for the thesis.
Nov.16th
Did listening exercise again.Felt raw again since neglect of practice.Having dinner with Rachel,went for the elective lecture,which was the first class that I came into classroom for lectures.Rachel gave a presentation regarding the movie"".Not bad.Fulfilled the book"Michael"written by Jelinek,which had the same dilemma with one step was in society.Made a Exell for Yang Jie,another hooligan,since she told Li Yang she had no time to read my former e-mail.Made a decision:I will give Chinese version too every time I update my daily.Tomorrow,went back home to conduct the affair of Driving.
Nov.17th
Waked up by Rachel's message,when it was lunch time again.Went back home with her,for she was earning money as a tutor.We exchange the new words coming up recently in the subway,and I had to reviewed the articles and content,which satisfied me terribliy----I didn't kill time in this week.Arrived home,no one was in.Slept again till supper.Dad and I haven't been tough yet,I discussed my future and major with him as usural.Fu Yang's phone stimulated my interest of watching opera.I inserted the DVD"Carmen",which lasts over three hours,into the player at 1:30 midnight.Nevertheless,the opera was classic enough to omit the time.
Nov.18th
Dad collected info from the driving school in the morning.I decided to get the license before Spring Festival.I paid for the tuition fee and would learn the traffic law from 27th,which acomodated me at home for a long time.All the affairs has been arranged well,exept for the tour to Hu Nan with PR Tong.Dad didn't indulge himself into surfing web.I encourged him to compose the document by computer,even though it was the original source of the quarrel.He was in high pressure because of the document writing.I asked him to write them with no care,and I would wash 3 people's dresses instead.I am conscious that I don't have numerous time like before,which oblige I to cherish every second at home.Mum went to An Hui again,with no halt even at home.The evening surrounded me,since we had the lonliness in same kind.Watched "Aida" alone,also an opera composed by Veldi.Couldn't understand why so many people devoting into opera performing.Mourning for 2 great people:Friedman,one of the most greatest economists;Puskas,The most greatest Huguarian soccer player,an tragical character in the football history.Amen.
Nov.19th
Gave a call to a brother serving in a Shanghai investment company to consult the affair of major.Called for help to Li Kai for the problem of the finance book.I will be industrious and tenacious every time I concern with future and risk of career,as well as the field which is vain to me.Everyone gave me awesome help,however,I don't know which way I should devote into.Jacob dated with Tracy and I didn't see him today.It's no time for me to release my temper to him,since he didn't tell me the employment of Xin Hua News.Fuck him till dead.Went to Richard's dorm for 2 hours.No one besides me.Seemed Henry Zhong came back,who I refused to meet ever.Scholarship was lost for Brian's low score,hearing that is secretary's mistake,while Auster got it even if he got 70 in one subject,which is not obey the rule.I will be insane of the autrority.How can I compete with these cheating bastards equally?
2.Indeed,I was on the rack during the week,since I was always tough to encounter several troubles simautaneously.I had to perk up from abyss time to time,and felt down again.That must be called samsara.
3.I will be absent from 27th and will last over 2 weeks.You'd better fix me a time and pay for my bill as soon as possible.
4.Li Kai said you should enhance your basis and then you can take benefit of ambition.
5.I decide to vote for the option which seems more difficult:Banking.
6.Focusing on future and career,I neglected philosophy along the week.Career is a killer,while the victim must be faith,which is always a tragedy of a man.
7.David Du,the foreign teacher in our university was publicized on headline by Beijing Youth Jounal.His misterious experience and incentive of coming to China woke me up.Fight for living as well as faith,even death.

Witness(06-11-12)

1.Reflection.
Nov.6th
The new beginning of the week had a poor start.Did nothing accorded with the preparation of interview.With the saying at midnight that I would insist the routine for a long time,droke it in the morning.Hua Wei's spokesman was a little bit stiff,who made me disappionted.Went along to the manager and asked her details.It appears that we were not welcomed because that was the employment press held for the students majored in foreign languages.
Jacob and I rushed to another hall where held CITS's press to occupy the seats in first line.The manager of CITS picked up some pieces from swarms of the resumes,and she was fortunate enough to choose most idiots in our major.Angela and I were omitted by the brilliant manager either.Unfortunately, my condition at that time is superb,hence I decided to strive for my dignity.The assistant was frightened by my eloquence.I'm sure she didn't know why she admitted me at last but only remembered my continual words.Most of my friends had been admitted directly,though we heard that we needed to be written-tested later on.Fainted...
Had supper with a crowd of friends,even though sb didn't have time to tell the words to me because of the meal.It seemed that I lost a chance again.Who knows whether there will be any chance again.We seized two tables and a path,which we had never been so magnificent after PR Tong was dismissed one year ago.
Surfing internet in dorm,discovered the courses system of University of Sydney was totally adapted,with lack of elaboration.Apart from that,the major were also hugely altered.Industrial Ralations was cancelled and added up several weird courses concerning sociality and statistic analysis..I was conscious immediatelly that it must be a critical problem.It will decided my future according to the interview afternoon.There was no time to grumble,with massive work to do,such as mailing the staffs in US,Considering the industries I should exert into,taking account of my interest as well as working experience.The colossal experience seemed to be a restraint for me to head to another industry.The problem is subject to obsess me till I make the decision.
Nov.7th
Owing to the change known the day before,I couldn't motivate myself to complete the schedule.If not,I must have made the effort vainly.Untill Judy asked me to learn with her,I got up.Covered "the Frontal PR" for all the afternoon,with a numb appearance.
Judy came at 4:40.We seperated at 5:30 since she dated Mike for dinner.Going back to dorm,discovered the poem album,published my poem,called "Sebtember Poems" arrived.The book was quite thin and so as my poem,short enough to be neglected.That should be my shame but not pride.All the people read the poem said it is talant whereas couldn't understand it anymore.According to such cases,I had to be speechless and go away with my poem.Some of them said that should be a awesome start,while I would define it as the final point.
I got the reply from HU LU XIAN,the administrator of the poem forum.I retired and will never be the administrator again.The feeling was indescriable,although the resigntion was handed in by me.Counting from the poem last time,I have never written any word for my belief over 1 month.
Composed a piece of poem again for Licky,falling in deep grief till dawn.
Nov.8th
As soon as I woke up,heard that we are obliged to participate the election of territorial representative of government.We faddled that we always have our obligation and principle to executive our right.We will take privilege to the reprentative who we are known;if none,we will give an opportunity to the the one belongs to our department;if none again,we had to vote for the one owning a sound name.Furthermore,we have another critical principle that vote for female who has agreeable appearance.The voting has been held as this process and principle for couple of years.
The exhibition orgnizer employed internships lasting 14 days.I intended to earn some cash to end up the life always withdrawing from ATM.But I changed my mind before I got to the meeting since I heard Licky would attend it.Jacob said he was desparate to earn money or he would end.I didn't go there at last,as Jacob's prediction ,either did she.He said he repelled her again.The name Licky became sensitive again from then on.
Rachel told me that she was scared by the communication theroy since it concerns politics and sociology rather than economics.I propose a "Shaking Meeting"for her,Judy as well as me,in Chinese as "Dong Yao Hui",instead of "Mobilising Meeting",as "Dong Yuan Hui" in Chinese.It was quite ironical that we three were the most insistent to our respective future.We had no conclusion and thoroughly annoyed by the dilemma.
Nancy didn't come to attend the "Shaking Meeting",reverse as her former behaviour.Rachel told me she was angry with me.I managed to appease her by my idiomatic method and defrauded her of a meal.Don't crack credit,haaaaaaa.
I discovered I was arranged to paticipate the written-test by CITS,as I contacted the staff there positively,when I checked mailbox,while I received the refusal from Microsoft.My major must be a great burden to be passed though after all.But after my master degree,the present working experience will be another barrier again,even though that's my proof of priority nowadays.That was one of the demonstrations of the dilemma,I am sure.
Sb drew my arm.That should be recognized as a sign:That was a habit,just ahabit,the habit got on my nerves.
I was blocked up by sth as well as sb,even only known by myself and too pimping to share.Simply,I was sorrowful.
Nov.9th
Fu Yang told me Zhang Dong and she would come to BISU on next Monday.She reminded me to grasp the chance.Faint again...
Without lunch,went to 405,3# again,which has been ocuppied for all the afternoon.Reading books,including an introduction of English poem totally written in English.
Sb drew my arm again.That should be recognized as a sign:I have been beyond redemption.
I must be insane.
Forgot one more thing,Piero's birthday.Happy birthday,Alex.
Nov.10th
Sister Mu gave me some advices on my major choosing.She analysed the trend and the requirement of different industries as well as functions,but I omitted most of she said.Nonsense,nonsense again.
Qin Yu also suggested me to learn finance.I would make the critical decision in near future.
Fixed a time with mum to go shopping in Cui Wei shopping mall.Bought a luxury dress and a coat,costing me 1200 RMB,when bearing no annoyance any more of rambling in mall.
In the bus 335 back home,came across Xiao Qing and Fang Fei.they told me their place were both close to mine,even though we were all in PR department.Xiao Qing told me that the PR department present was likely to decline.They all were envious of PR tong,looking forwards to the relationships.She told me that she didn't learn anything in PR department,execpt as a labor,which made me down.I must have make a serious mistake at that time.
Got home.Dad didn't say any words to me.I learned to encounter trouble calmly.Fortunately,The Ice was broken by me.I discussed the majors to be chosen with him,and he get down to the affair again.I realized that we hadn't had estrangement yet.
Nov.11th
Went to Tian Yi shopping mall to pick up a bag,since the former one had to be tidied.Bargained with the storeload,the first time I presented my eloquence in front of mum.
Took some tonic to visit sick Angela.The Insane girl didn't tell anyone that she had finished her operation on Friday morning.I was astonished and contacted friends to visit her recently.I got there at 4o'clock,I've never seen her appearence like this,pale,weak.I chatted with her for an hour.That's my partner,my partner for over 3 years.I sympathized with my partner's sickness,since I deeply comprehended the meaning of lonliness and helplessness.That's why I rushed to Chao Yang Hospital from the remote place.I managed the visit next day,attended by most members of PR tong,surely I would be there as well.
after that,went to my aunt's place,in the North of 4th Ring Road,distant with the hospital.All the day beared the trudge.feast with her family and mine,back home to search info on internet.
reading the meaningless books,fell asleep at midnight.
All the Single's Day was company with various people,hinding the sole and sore appearence in my heart,seems enjoyed it in pleasure.
Nov.12th
Taking the suit back to campus,after the visit of Angela.Most of friends were called to be there,and our noisiness disturbed others harshly,even though they didn't say any words to us.We took pictures,faddled till merely 5 o'clock.I didn't know whether I would be concerned by so many people if I were suffered by disease.
Had supper with Nancy,Tian Yi and Xiao Fang.We gossiped all the affairs on campus and person concerning us,no matter whether they were true or not.We were the people who took memory as importance,and would keep all forever,which was the most vital point focused by me.
Judy mentioned me a lot in her blog.I couldn't describe my feeling anymore,'cause I haven't figure out her intention yet.
Li Yang gave me a call at night to inform me my salary was deducted by the fucking woman Yang Jie for over 1000RMB.I was exasperated against her and composed three mails to different people to save my lost money.I was embarrassed by the ill-disposed woman!I will not surrender any more!Even though,I could not do anything at all.
Fulfilled the mails and slept at 3:30,forgetting the coming of Fu Yang and Zhang Dong in the morning.
2.The severe issues suffered me a lot.I couldn't get asleep in the dark owing to the back pay,couldn't feel free because of major choosing.The days was continuous with my desparate desire of safety and success.
3.Started to write poems again,even though someone depreciated my lines in the forum.I didn't maind it any more,not because I was generous,but I was limited by the annoying things and had no time to debate with them.At least,I would not give up argue when sb invaded into my macca.
4.Planned to learn driving in several days.
5.The plan was executived well during the week,exept of the days at home.English should be highlighted by more endeavor.
6.Finance seems to be my future career,oriented by crowd of people.
7.philosophy,can you save me from the lonliness,helplessness,and desparation.Or,you can do me a favor to make me addicted in to the deeper abyss.

Witness(06-11-05)

1.Reflection.
Oct.30th
Nothing special,common life,as a common university student.Jacob was back home in the morning.I didn't get up for my class,even though had been awake at that time.
Owing to a pile of free time to be killed,I decided to go to Broadcasting Institute to buy the reference books for Zhang Dong,of course,not alone,with Rachel's company.Asked a lot from the seller in the bookstore,discovered that the postgraduate exam is a industry with fucking huge profit.I can't help felicitating myself that I made a correct choice.The reference books involved common knowledge in large scale,which attracted me a lot,since I didn't have the urgent feeling.On the other hand,Rachel was devoting to her study and future career,made me embarrassed.I blushed for my nonfeasance.
After supper,we would have make all the business card in order,but some abrupt situation made us defer our plan again.
Read books which I have postponed for a long time,surfed internet,read news in every field I was fond of.indeed,the Pro Evolution Soccer 4 was a proper way to let myself alone,even though I hated being alone.
Met Sun Ye at night on internet.She said that she was afraid of being company with 3 people or above.I said I stood opposite against her.I need a crowd of people to obtain the consciousness of safety.
Slept at 4 o'clock.
Oct.31st
Promising Rachel to attend a speech addressed by a french,up on time regrdless of only 4-hour sleep.The speech was provided for postgraduates of Broadcasting Institute,and the french had a high-class position:3 terms of France Press Minister;the chief directer of France National Library,which the philosophers I admired were the leaders there.He was a jack-of-all-trades in politics,media,pilosophy,etc.The cases he cited are all the stories regarding Bible or hellenic myth,demonstrating his philosophic tradition in france.The speech was not attractive enough since the translator was not majored in media,hence the flaws and the halt broke the continuity of the speech.I proposed a question concerning the Tian'an Men Massacre.I intended to discuss the relationships between knowledge and power,according to Focault,my favorite philosopher.But I was always caucious to the affair offending the Party,therefore I surrendered asking question in the hall,inspite of Rachel's urging.
Had lunch with Rachel and Nancy,and went back for a lone time sleep.The first thing I had to carry out was that I should claim my back pay,since I dreamed about and was badly suffered by it.Unexpectedly,David Liu assigned me a new task:translation for the plan of NOKIA's Christmas Party.He begged me to get down to the task,and he promised to remit the money to me before weekend,under the condition of accomplishment of the translation.I had to.
Had dinner with Angela,Xiao Fang and Tian Yi.Discovered the day was Halloween.A line of foreigners dressed strange moved around the canteen.I felt they had more vacuity than me.
I waited for David Liu's oringial version untill 3 o'clock,slept.
Nov.1st
Got up at noon,and read the message from David Liu.He sent the file to my mailbox.I opened it and perishing frightened by it.The file consists of 32 pages,full of atticism.I bought some fast food and carried out my work,much more horrible than I was in the company and had no pay.Finally I won the campaign with one-afternoon dedication.I was too exausted to do anything.CITS would employ graduate in our institute and accept CV only in the very afternoon,Jack told me.I had to print my CV and handed it in before supper.When I came back to dormitory,I met Rachel and the freshmen of PR department,who seemed like a crowd of ruffians.I didn't have the nerve to witness my faith's backslide,hastily rushed to dorm.
Would have attended a speech on finance held by Qing-Yi Forum,if the guest was not absent.Slanging the babyish department,go back to the Xiang-Yu building to read the book named Gnosticism.Surely not alone,with Judy.I said I would be scared by loneliness.The leaves said farewell to its home.I was aware of that,since I only had one chance to witness the autumn's coming on my campus,from the day,the very day.Hope they will not be nostalgic,like me in the near future.
Having calmed down from the quarrel,lived with tranquil mood.But the equilibrium will never be kept for a long time.Mum told me to compromise dad.I decided to give in for our reconcilement,whereas dad didn't.He wrote a series of words to condemn me,which made me fragile.I told him I would go back home when I was contact him firstly,but now I changed my mind.With ineffable anger,felt into sleep unconsciously at roughly 4 o'clock.
Nov.2nd
Up afternoon,and had lunch with Lazy Angela.She told me her plan and reason why she was passive at present.We plighted to make our own business such as a Bar together after our success,as well as Xiao Fang.I will,if I can.I discovered the ways we picked up were quite different,slop me over again.
Jacob came back from Tian Jin.He went to McDonald's with his quasi-wife as soon as he got to Beijing.I slept merely all the time.Decided to make a plan for my life,even though I hated the discipline as badly as loneliness.
Wrote the words above till now,5:38.
Nov.3nd
Went to Sha Tan for taking VISA photos.Visited uncle Chen again and he invited me to have dinner.He mentioned his daughter,Chen Mo.During the talk,I had the conscious that I only had my childhood with her,even though I couldn't memorize the things at that time,and haven't meet her for 15 years.She is working in Beijing Architecture Design Institution,and also planning to go abroad for further education.I faddled maybe we would marry someday.He seemed to be bothered by her daughter's marriage.The photo was so-so,and he managed it by PS,seemed not too bad,despite of my depressed smile.
Arrived at Beijing Children's Palace again to meet Fu Yang.When I was 6 years old I learnt art there.Some pictures exhibited outside remainded me the vague impression at my early age.as one part of Forbidden City,the landscape there was agreeable.We took some photos to keep our memories.
Back to campus.Cheng Shuyi was frigid to me,since I was not content with his behaviour towards Jack.He was revenging,made me prepared to resist the next storm in our dorm.
Stayed in dorm to complete the book,and felt into sleep again.That must be the symptom of loneliness.Surfed internet,Zhao Ge left me a messeage,which asked me to read the alumni.Bastard Liu Fei uploaded some photos taken when we were in senior one in high school.Vainly attempted to remind us his contributions?Or to announce his love to the class which had no relationship with him?To challenge my friendship with the classmates,if I still had have any friendship with them?Childish nonsense.
Judy asked me if all the 226 books had been covered.indeed.She questioned if every book was worthy to cover.I said Ads has been prevailing for over one century even though it only owned 50% successful cases.But the issue was:you would never know which half was the prosperous part.So as reading books.The question has been asked time to time since I was a kid,and the response is always as pale as my eye,crammed with helplessness.
All the fucking tough affairs were like the impassable frontier to baffle me from my dream.However,I would not surrender to so-called destiny yet.
Nov.4th
The first day to executive my new plan.Because of the lack of sleepness,up late again.Took a little discount of my schedule,whereas accomplished most.Didn't have lunch,since with nobody's company.An awkward excuse.But actually,it seems that no place tolerated me.
Went back to 405 room,3#,my former classroom.The rarely vacant room had been dominated by myself for all the evening.Pick up the chalk,intended to write sth,as usual.No word jumped out from my brain.A complete failure.I read Nietzsche's,just spoiled myself into the philosophy,for all the evening.
Mum gave me a call after dinner,asked me why I was not back home.I didn't say any words to express my indignity,just deal with it in chillness.Promised her to come back earlier for purchase and VISA.The schooling life lasting 3 weeks is likely to end up.
Isolated from everyone.Read books,went shopping,had meals.Avoided to talk with anyone,stayed into dark to appreciate the lorn scene.Autumn's step seized everyone's eyes.The road was performing the episode called"solitude".If I have possessed the gift of composing,I will compose my requiem performed for my mourning.Shit,it seemed a long time stalling my poems writing.
Nov.5th
Alone for all day.Started to be acquainted with the life led by myself.
Went to the Foreign Language Reading Room,viewed Businessweek and The Economists.Prefered Businessweek,with deep thinking and sharp ideas.Tried some exercises on TEM 8,the time was limited,though the result was not bad,correct answers took 19/25 in all,much better than I firstly got touch with IELTS.
Took a shower in order to stimulate myself for the next day's interview-------Hua Wei and CITS.Then stayed at dorm to wait for Tian Yi from Tian Jin,with the book on PR.
As long as I finished the book and was about to search info of the two companies,Judy asked me to pick her up from the subway station at 22 o'clock.When I got there,discovered she was not alone,with an old American chackled all the time.I was frozened while he was talking on Aids with great passion.Gosh...
The hands was pained,and sb touched me deeply.
Xue Chao left a message said he asked his ex to seek girls for me.Seemed like a thirsty pimp~~~~~~
Zhao Ge asked me my point of view of the affair on alumni.I couldn't believe the man who quarrelled with us would regret for what he did.I'd rather considered it as his parade.
Ge,you should come to my campus as soon as possible,the strong wind will blow the autumn away in the near future.
2.I decided to note my thought and experience in English.I can accustom myself the usage of active words,and the content also can be neglected by my parents' peer.Fu Yang said she would not visit my website again if I wrote my dairy in English.Pls forgive me my friends,I have to do sth for my future as well as current situation.The dairy will be created as a new post in my blog every time.Of course,All the change is just probation version,whose influence is to be observed and checked.
3.Composed a new post in Xiao Meng Poem Forum to resign from the administrator position.No reason,although in oppressive grief.
4.Fear.Nietzsche said if you can be conscious of the pleasure and joviality when you are deeply trapped into fear,you are in Dionysos spirit,which knows the tragedy of life well and treats it with positive attitude.He chases for the new height to look down the world,and expire by himself.That's the edge of madness,which addicts myself into.That should be my desire.
5.Juventus's 109 year-old birthday. Alessandro Del Piero's 200th goal in Juventus,as well as Piero's 32-year-old birthday's coming on 9th Nov.The only auspiciouses I could be delighted with.making a break of 8 win,the road returning to Serie A was not tough as our imagination.The team I have backed up for proximately 12 years is the only faith has never betrayed me yet.Forza Bianconeri.
6.My plan was executived not bad,since it's only two days passed.Hoping for the long-term endeavor.I will go back home in advance next week.Preparation for overseas education has been started up now.At least,it can decline my consciousness of solitude.
7.Jacob and Tracy become sweetie now;Zhao Ge and Gu Xu is concerning each other serenely;my younger sisters are deeply in love with their Mr rights.I am gratified owing to their happiness.Nevertheless,where are you,my beloved.